I frequently visit and participate in various online weight-loss forums.
This morning I posted the following message in one such forum and am choosing to post it here as well.

Posted by a member of a weight-loss forum:

"My questions for you are as follows:

During your weight loss phase did you commit to it
and never look back or were you slipping up here and there?

As a maintainer, do you find that the internal struggle over food
is the same as it was when you were heavy
(I am referring to the guilt of overeating and at times, feeling out of control)?

I have never even been within 30 lbs of goal so I really don't know what it is like.
I slip up a little now and I was not sure if this eventually gets better, worse,
or stays the same."

I've never been perfect, not in my weight-loss phase nor here in my maintenance phase, and slip-ups-here-and-there have always been part of my process.

As a maintainer, the internal struggle over food is about the same.  One part of me wants to eateverything I want, whenever I want to, and the other part of me wants to maintain my weight-loss. These are strong desires that continue to oppose each other.

  However,  when I overeat, I am always conscious of the fact that it is a CHOICE,
and now, when I have out-of-control feelings, it is NOT that I actually have no control or choice about overeating behavior

......despite the intensity of the desires or the difficulty of the struggle, I know that what I put in my mouth is my own choice..... Whether I overeat, eat compulsively, or binge.. I'm choosing my behavior.

I still have out-of-control feelings frequently,  but these are primarily due to the failure of my body to give me positive weight results even after I've chosen to engage in positive eating behavior.

 Bottom Line.... for me... The process and the feelings are forever.
Time doesn't improve them. The only effective response is ACCEPTANCE, of the feelings and of the struggle. ....understanding that it is a part of my life,  and there is no escape possible.

Being fat is hard;
Losing weight is hard;
Maintaining weight is hard;
Choose your hard.

"Trust a few" are words contained in today's video.
Sound advice, but it does raise the question...
....who are the few that I can trust?.......

An analysis of this question could begin
with one's close family circle,
moving out to friends,
and then expand to acquaintances,
and finally to others such as well-known authorities and experts.

 Sometimes we think of Trust as a Totality,
when actually it is a matter of degree and situation.

I like to think of myself as trustworthy,
and I would never steal money from you,
but you might not be wise to leave me alone in your house
with a box of your favorite chocolates.

You might be able to trust the accuracy of my opinion
about weight-loss, diet, calories, food-intake,
but you would be unwise to do so
regarding issues such as how electricity works,
or what makes a vehicle operational.

 There are many nutritional and diet experts,
and many of them give opposing advice.
Each of us must distinguish, and choose for ourselves,
who are the few that we can individually trust.

                                
In every aspect of life, including
Weight-loss and maintenance of that weight-loss,
It is not about what is right for others
but it is about what is right for you.

It’s not that I am right and others are wrong
Instead there is no one-size-fits-all approach
to losing weight and getting fit.

The longer I travel this path the more I understand
that there isn’t a generic plan that is right for everyone.
I have discovered that because we are all genetically different,
what works for me may or may not work for you.

Each of us has to write our own owner’s manual to achieve success.

There are general fundamental philosophies of eating and exercise.
It’s valuable to start with those principles.
As we discover how our own body responds to following these,
then we can re-evaluate where we are in this journey
in order to continue on the same path
or to determine ways to change directions.

Some people don’t like the word “diet”
and instead use words like: “eat healthy”.
Other people…such as myself….view dieting as a “hobby”,
and embrace the concept and incorparate it into their lives.

Some people avoid sugar and white flour.
Some avoid or restrict most carbohydrates.
Some avoid all processed food.
Other people eat everything in moderation.

Some people eat small frequent meals..as scheduled or as they become hungry.
Others eat only two or three times a day, and avoid snacking between meals.
Some people use fasting as a weight-loss tool.
Some people count calories; some use food exchanges;
and some even count bites.

 To survive and to live, each of us must eat,
and there are many different foods
and eating patterns available to choose from.
Personally, I find it helpful to track all my food
and this is something I find valuable as part of my own plan.

Sometimes people ask what I did to lose the weight,
and I’m happy to tell them.
But that doesn’t mean they can expect the same results,
within the same time frame.
And the way I choose to eat and to live my life
might not be a good fit for them.

The Journey is much longer than many people can imagine
The reality is that it is a life-long journey with no clear destination
except to have a healthy and fulfilling life.
During my own journey, I’ve changed directions many times.
I think it’s helpful to read all that you can
so you can better understand the process;
And ask questions.
The only dumb question is the one never asked.
Do not be afraid to fall flat on your face.
I have learned the most in my life through my mistakes.

What I have discovered is that no one approach is better than another.
Don’t run if you hate running,
Don’t eat cottage cheese if you hate cottage cheese.
Know that we are all truly an experiment-of-one
and what works for me may or may not work for you.

Each of us must live in our individual bodies, during the "game" of life.

 Sometimes we feel stuck.
Stuck in our eating patterns;
stuck in how much we weigh,
stuck in how we feel about ourselves.
This tends to lead us to a feeling of
hopelessness that we can’t seem to shake.

A look at new possibilities can move us
away from that black- and -white thinking
that we have during the times when we feel stuck.

When we start considering possibilities,
we alter our thinking just slightly to consider
that there is a possibility that things could be different,
that other behavioral options can exist for us.

We don’t have to start with an actual change,
just a consideration of a possible change.

When we’re on the sofa, and junk food is calling us by name,
we can choose to eat it, Or, we have the possibility
of making another choice. We can choose to go online,
or take a walk. We canchoose a different activity.

Do we have to? No! 
Do we want to? Maybe No
But there is a part of us that might like
experimenting with doing something different

Will we go online? Will we take a walk?
Perhaps, if we know the possibility of doing it exists.
No pressure, no rules, just internally giving ourselves an option.

If weight-loss success is our goal,
we have options, and those options give us
a variety of different paths to get there.

                         

Do you know who you are,
what you believe, and
why you believe it?

Here I am speaking about every type of individual personal belief
that we have about life and the world in general,
including all of our beliefs about food, exercise, dieting, body image, and health.
I am not talking specifically about religious or political beliefs.

Are you aware? 
Do you look around and choose a path for yourself,
or do you just blindly follow the path laid out for you by others?

People who know who they are,
and why they believe what they believe,
tend not to find other people’s beliefs to be threatening.
They have no need to reject the opinions and beliefs
of others without considering them. 

 People who generally reject the input of others,
and refuse to even consider or entertain a new idea,
tend to lack confidence in their own beliefs.

We need to see our own personal beliefs.
Then we must choose whether to keep that belief
and to make it our own,
or to discard it as not conforming with who we want to be.

This process can help us resolve conflicting beliefs
which are sometimes a source of stress in our lives.
Each belief we choose to keep
can become our own, and part of who we are,
not just part of projecting an image, a social facade.

While we are considering whether or not to chose to keep a belief,
we need to examine it, and look to find out the details.
What is involved in the belief?
What type of circumstances does it applies to?
And, WHY do we believe it.

Once we understand which beliefs are a part of us
and which are merely part of our image,
we can choose to reject that image.
When we have enough knowledge of ourselves,
we no longer need the affirmations of others in order to feel worthy.

 Our self-worth will be balanced, not too high nor too low. 
It will be enough to be who we are, and
allow others to be who they are,
and draw shared enjoyment where we can.

It is impossible to examine one’s own beliefs without becoming aware. 
 Being Aware means knowing, understanding, and accepting
that each of us has the power to control who we are
and how we respond to any situation.

It means accepting responsibility for our own actions
Every one of them.

Knowing that we are who we choose to be
is an Awareness that will bring us toward Peace and Serenity.