We spend so much time waiting to be loved,
hoping love will find us,
searching, yearning for that special love.

Feeling empty and lost without it.
Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.
But, that’s not usually how life works.

Loving ourselves is the only dependable way
to create love in each of our own lives.

When we expect love from an external source,
and someone or something does not fulfill our void and fantasies,
then we will feel worse than before.

Each of us is perfect as we are right this minute,
even though we often don’t believe it.

It is also good to create more self-respect
which will help us to love ourselves.
Here are some behavior goals to help accomplish that.

Treat others with love and respect.

Be kind to others, even the “undeserving”.

Express yourself in a loving and nonthreatening way.

Let go of past events—you deserve a fresh beginning.

Forgive yourself – don’t punish yourself for your past behavior.

Focus your mind on positive statements.
DietHobby has a tool that can help you do this.
It is located under RESOURCES, Words of Wisdom Playlist.
Click the link, and at the top of the page, click "Play All",
which will cause each of the short videos to run back-to-back
so you can spend 5 or 10 minutes focused on positive statements.

Write down your experiences and feelings.
Allow yourself to feel good feelings and
when you remember bad experiences,
allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself.
Be willing to be present and accept your own pain and regret.
We can’t expect others to be validating,
and so we need to learn how to validate ourselves.

Work to look past “material” objects and feelings.
We all want nice things and someone to share our life with.
What do you really crave? Figuring out what you really want
will help you get to know yourself better.

Be persistent –work steadily at loving and accepting yourself,
just as you are right now.

Focus on what you HAVE accomplished,
rather than what you haven’t.

Hug the real you.

Be yourself, who you really are, express yourself, laugh, play sing,
and don’t be afraid of what others think. Most of them feel the same way
and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it too.

Trust yourself—Learn to trust who you really are,
rather than blindly following the suggestions of other people.

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There are many things in life that we can’t control,
but within each individual life,
there are other things that we do have control over.

Setting goals helps us take control of our lives.
It gives us a map to show us where we want to go,
instead of letting life just happen by accident.

Individually, we need to find out what our values really are,
so we can decide which goals we want to pursue
and what direction to aim our lives.

 Goals should be:

Positive.
State goals in positive rather than negative terms.
(like: “I am an organized person: instead of “I am not disorganized”
or “I eat 3 meals and nothing in between”, rather than “I don’t eat snacks”)

Present Tense.
State goals as though they are being realized right now,
or have already been attained. The subconscious mind operates in the present.
If we create goals in the future tense, our subconscious will never get there.

Personal:
Goals have to be about you, and under your control,
not about someone else.

Precise:
Goals should be realistic.
Achieving them must be within the realm of possibility.

Powerful.
Use words that convey action and emotion.

  Visualize success.
See yourself achieving your goal.
Picturing a positive outcome is helpful.
If we can see ourselves attaining a goal, we very likely will.
However, if we can’t muster up any image of success,
we very likely will fail.

Visualizing is something all of us do every day.
When we daydream, or think about someone we know,
or remember a place we visited, we are visualizing.
We can use this technique to help us achieve our goals
by seeing ourselves achieving them.

Now that I have about 80% recovery of my broken wrist,
I have begun regularly adding weekly recipe videos to DietHobby.
You can click the link to see my low-calorie version of Taco Salad,
which is located under RESOURCES, Mealtime here at DietHobby.

There are many different food plans,and many ways to look at eating.
All of them work for someone, but none of them work for everyone.

The following quote is from a member of a forum I frequently visit.
The principle discussed is the matter of choice and responsibility for that choice,which actually fits into many different food-plans, however. in the present quote,
the principle is being applied to “S” days in the No S Diet.

“Something I want to mention is out of the books
Beating Overeating and Overcoming Overeating by Gillian Riley.
She says to give yourself Complete freedom (seriously)
and tell yourself you CAN do whatever you want.
Then ask yourself, I am I really Choosing??
This has really freed me in the past eating changes.

I ask myself, What do I really want,
do I want to go ahead and eat/overeat,
and then imagine the outcomes of both choices
the negative and positive, how I will feel, ect.
if I choose one or the other.

Then I can decide what I TRULY want to do,
whether its negative or positive,
and I also have to ACCEPT the consequences ect.
So in doing it this way I am taking responsibility for my choices.

Instead of just binging a whole bunch and beating myself up afterwards,
If I think it over and imagine how I'll feel later
and what might be the consequences of doing it,
I didn’t always want to overeat/binge!
In fact, a lot of times, I chose NOT to do the negative thing!

I can ask myself what I REALLY want (quality vs. quantity)
and then eat accordingly. If I REALLY want to binge, I can binge,
but then accept the consequences with no problems.
If I REALLY want to enjoy a few treats without going overboard,
then I could choose that too.

I think If I truly ask myself I could be more true to myself
and my true desires. It is a powerful tool,
with also allowing yourself complete freedom!”

This is a principle of mental control, and seems completely reasonable.

 The elephant in the room here though, is the possible chemical effects of highly altered foods on the body,
and their attraction and availability in our current world.

And ….if…. these modern (non) foods with combinations of salt/fat/sugars and man-made chemicals that help with flavor and shelf-life, actually affect an individual body the way alcohol affects an alcoholic… making it almost impossible for some bodies to establish ongoing mental control after any of that substance enters the body.

I don’t know. 
But when bingeing is a personal problem, it seems like this might be an issue to consider.

Each of us is an Experiment of One, and
what works for one doesn’t always work for another.

 People have different genetics, body composition,
lifestyle, and eating preferences.

Also, the BMR or RMR and Activity Factor percentage numbers re individual calorie burn contained in the “experts” charts are formulas that are based on averages, and are very incorrect for many people.

  Even that generally recommended Low of 1200 calories a day can be more calories than the body of a small, older woman is able to use, and will cause a weight gain for some. My past 7 years of detailed daily food-intake records prove that this is the case for my own mid-60s, 5’0”, 115 lb body.

Approaching weight loss with a "one size fits all" eating routine results in frustration and loss of motivation  when our results don't match those of another.

 The best diet plan will allow us to learn new eating habits and re-shape our lifestyles in a way that will allow us to achieve and maintain our desired weight.

It helps to figure out our desired eating pattern. Some people find it difficult to eat a large breakfast and make that a smaller meal, or skip it entirely. Some skip dinner. Some do well eating three meals, avoiding all snacks, and others find eating small meals and snacks works better for them.  Some people eat only once a day within specific time limits.  Some people vary their eating schedules to include frequent fasts.

Different eating schedules can be an effective tool in weight management, but it is important for each of us to know our own preferences, and figure out what eating plan will work best for us, individually. After a desired eating schedule is determined, we divide our food-intake and calories with that plan in mind.

 Be realistic.
We need to know our diet weaknesses so we can incorporate them into our plans.

Set reasonable goals.
The only program that is guaranteed to help us reach our weight goals is the one we will do consistently.  There is no magic eating plan, program, or product that is guaranteed to help us lose weight and keep it off. 

 
Trying to follow a plan or program that has worked for someone else through a one-size-fits-all approach is a path doomed to fail  if it isn't something that fits into our own personal lifestyles and preferences.

Instead of giving in to the marketing campaigns or the success stories of others, and following a plan that doesn't fit one’s preferences and lifestyle, it is helpful to take a little time to make a plan that does.

 I find that when I build my own individual program and put my likes and preferences at the center,  I am more likely to own that plan and make it work to reach and maintain my goals.